📖This is a statement not a question. However, please there are good men in the body of Christ; also there would be many reasons why this person may always be attracting the wrong kind of men; one of it could be because she has not made herself right as well and she needs to do more with working to her herself right and part of this will be identifying the right man with the help of the holy spirit not choosing by sight or by feelings only.

Please this person should contact the pastorate so they can be supported to access mentoring through the church’s mentoring system that is starting off fully by July 2025. Lots of work are currently ongoing in preparing the mentors and matching them to those who have indicated interest to be mentored in different aspects of life so please take advantage of this divine provision in your church and end this circle of hurt for yourself – this mentoring system is for the blessing of all members of CLC so please everyone should take advantage of this and be blessed to be a blessing continually.

📖This question raises more questions – what has happened to this individual that took away their happiness; they said when I came to church I used to be happy? Has there been a gap that they did not come to church and they lost their happiness and now they are back in church but they are struggling to flow back into the joy of God’s presence because of what they have gotten themselves into when they stayed away from God’s presence. For no one appears before God regularly in church and actively engage with all aspects of the service and go back not blessed, lifted and full of joy in CLC – for in the presence of God there is fullness of joy and at his right hand there are pleasure for evermore.

📖This woman would need to speak to counsellor /pastor please to help her to identify if she is a talking about domestic abuse – by saying hurt me over time with his words and his actions. If she has been hurt over time with his words and actions – this means she has been emotionally and perhaps physically assaulted by her husband, and she is still being treated this way as she says she is still here for the sake of their children. So clearly this is a serious domestic violence situation:
• Please dear woman know that your children are also victims of your husband words and actions – even if those words and actions are not towards them directly but seeing and hearing the negative words and actions of their father towards you means that they are also suffering abuse and this is impacting negatively on their lives currently and could have greater negative impact on their own emotional and behavioural development as well.

• So dear woman you are really not doing any good to your children if you remain in this situation and do nothing to protect them and yourself by removing yourself and your children from such a toxic situation so that the man can then get help for himself to make positive changes to his behaviour. • Dear woman you cannot rekindle your love for the man who has subjected you to abuse for a long time and he is still abusing you emotionally and perhaps physically – because you are already broken, bruised and wounded over the years that you actually really need help to recognise what you are going through is abuse; you will need to repaired emotionally and psychologically, you will need to heal, regain yourself, be restored so you can develop the capacity to love the right way but the abuse needs to end first before all these can start.

• Please dear woman speak to the pastorate so you can be helped and supported to start the process to end this domestic suffering for your children and yourself and allow the man to seek for, actively engage and be fully committed to the help that he seriously needs for modify his behaviour. Please don’t be quiet and die due to the abuse or loose your mind and end up committing suicide or end up in the mental health hospital.

• There is lots of help and support the church can offer you and also connect you to access to protect your children and yourself from this situation. We pray that you will act on this advice before it is too late as for some women it can become too late when they loose their lives in the relationship.

Children who witness domestic abuse are at risk of both short and long-term physical and mental health problems. Every child will be affected differently to the trauma of domestic abuse.

Short-term effects of domestic abuse:

For young children this can include:

• Bed-wetting. • Increased sensitivity and crying. • Difficulty sleeping or falling asleep. • Separation anxiety.

For school aged children this can include:

• A loss of drive to participate in activities and school. • Lower grades in school. • Feeling guilty and to blame for the abuse happening to them. • Getting into trouble more often. • Physical signs such as headaches and stomach aches.

For teenagers this can include:

• Acting out in negative ways such as missing school or fighting with family members. • Having low self-esteem. • Finding it difficult to make friends. • Engaging in risky behaviours such as using alcohol and other drugs.

Long-term effects of domestic abuse:

• Mental health problems, such as becoming anxious or depressed. Low mental health can also lead to big impacts on physical health, including self-harm or developing an eating disorder. • Having a lowered sense of self-worth. • Using alcohol and other drugs as unhealthy coping mechanisms. • Repeating behaviours seen in their domestic setting. Since the domestic abuse act 2021, children that have been exposed to domestic abuse are now recognised as victims of domestic abuse in their own right, rather than just witnesses.

📖The truth it is likely that the person doesn’t love you and doesn’t love the new person. It also seems that this is not a Christian relationship so we would advise that you both give your heart fully to Jesus so you can experience God’s love and also learn to love the lord and others. This is critical for you in finding the right person eventually.

📖Please there is a difference between love and infatuation or crushing on somebody; so it is not possible to fall in love with someone you barely know; you are just possibly attracted to the person and falling in love can come later on.

📖If it is a Christian relationship then it must be done in a Christian kingdom way. This means you should both agree to do the relationship in God’s way following the biblical principles of no sexual intimacy until you are married. Kissing, petting etc are pathways to having sex and they are not to be done except within the marriage context.

So please make this clear to the brother that you are not to engage in such activities; that is not what courtship or relationship before marriage is meant for. If they persist then please go to speak to your pastor who will be able to provide you guidance on what next to do.

📖If it is a Christian relationship then it must be done in a Christian kingdom way. This means you should both agree to do the relationship in God’s way following the biblical principles of no sexual intimacy until you are married. Kissing, petting etc are pathways to having sex and they are not to be done except within the marriage context.

So please make this clear to the brother that you are not to engage in such activities; that is not what courtship or relationship before marriage is meant for. If they persist then please go to speak to your pastor who will be able to provide you guidance on what next to do.

📖1. Both partners must agree that transparency is not control — it’s care.
• Talk openly about financial habits, goals, debts, fears, and
• Keep a shared budget and review it together regularly (e.g., monthly).

💬 2. Communicate about money regularly.
• Create a monthly “money meeting” where both spouses:
• Review expenses and savings • Discuss upcoming costs or concerns • Pray together over your finances This isn’t just bookkeeping — it reinforces unity, like in amos 3:3: “can two walk together unless they are agreed?”

🧩 3. Assign roles, but maintain mutual access
• It’s okay if one partner is more detail-oriented and manages the day-to-day.
• However, both must have full access to all accounts and decisions.
• Avoid the mindset of “you handle it so i don’t need to know.” That can lead to imbalance and temptation.

🛡 4. Build in gentle accountability • Set a mutual spending threshold — e.g., “we’ll talk before either spends over £100.”
• Use shared tools like budgeting apps (e.g., ynab, everydollar, or even a google sheet).
• Reassure each other: “this isn’t control; it’s protection — for both of us.”

🛠 5. Address financial red flags with grace and truth
If one partner begins overspending, hiding purchases, or mismanaging money:
• Approach with humility and grace: “help me understand what’s going on — i’m feeling uneasy, and i want us to stay united.”
• Avoid blame, but be firm about the impact.
• Seek counseling (pastoral or financial) early if patterns emerge.
Remember: “speak the truth in love” (ephesians 4:15) and “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), but also “the prudent see danger and take refuge” (Proverbs 27:12).

💒 6. Pray together about your finances
• Invite god into your financial life — not just when you’re in trouble.
• Praying together builds trust, humility, and a sense of shared stewardship.
• Use financial challenges as a spiritual bonding opportunity, not just a practical one.

📖No please there’s no room for little privacy in marriage – kingdom marriage is not for anyone who needs privacy – it is for people who wants to do marriage god’s way – they were both naked and they were not ashamed – it requires openness, honesty and transparency. God’s plan is for every couple to become one so everything that promote growing in oneness is right while everything that demote oneness is wrong – a little privacy in marriage is wrong.

📖Please speak to your spouse about this highlighting how it is affecting your relationship and hopefully they will see reason with you and end the closeness with the friend but if they don’t please seek help from the pastorate to help them to understand why continuing with the closeness with someone else is not healthy for both of you and also the 3rd party whether they are married or unmarried.

📖This can be true as pride or ego plays a significant role in our emotions that can then result into anger but it’s not all anger that is due to pride. Both anger and pride are deeply significant emotions—and the bible treats them quite differently.
Anger – in the bible
✅ righteous anger (godly)
• Not all anger is sinful. Jesus expressed anger at injustice (e.g. Driving out money changers in the temple – John 2:13–17).
• Ephesians 4:26 – “in your anger do not sin.” Anger itself isn't sin, but how you handle it matters.

❌ sinful anger
• Anger becomes sin when it's rooted in pride, revenge, or hatred.
• James 1:20 – “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
• Uncontrolled anger leads to destruction—relationally, spiritually, emotionally.

pride – in the bible
• Pride is almost always seen as a sinful elevation of self over others and over God.
• Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
• James 4:6 – “God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.”
• The bible celebrates humility, gratitude, and boasting in the lord (2 Corinthians 10:17).

🔗 The link between anger & pride
Yes, there is a strong link between the two in Christian teaching:
1. Pride often fuels sinful anger
• When someone offends you, the prideful heart says, “How dare they treat me like this?”
• Anger rooted in pride is self-focused, not justice focused.
• Cain’s anger (Genesis 4) stemmed from wounded pride—he was jealous that God accepted Abel’s offering, not his.

2. Pride prevents reconciliation
• A proud person may stay angry rather than humble themselves, forgive, or apologize.
• Proverbs 13:10 – “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

3. Humility is the cure
• Christ calls us to meekness, not weakness (Matthew 5:5).
• A humble heart may feel anger but submits that emotion to God and seeks peace.

Christlike model
• Jesus got angry—but only at sin, hypocrisy, and injustice, not to defend his ego.
• He was humble, even when wrongly accused or beaten. “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth…” (Isaiah 53:7)